


Bulletproof Troublemakers

by NaraMerald



Series: Bangtan Sonyeodan [1]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Always a girl! Jin, Always a girl! Suga, Always a girl! V, Cutest team love/comfort ever, F/M, Feminist Themes, Feminist! Suga, Greasy! Jimin, Identity Issues, K-pop References, OT7, Sexism, Shameless! V, Shocked! Jungkook, Supportive! J-Hope, Wise! Rap Monster, anti-fans, co-ed group, sexy concept
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:02:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaraMerald/pseuds/NaraMerald
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would BTS change if they were a coed group?<br/>Or: BTS do a Trouble Maker inspired sexy concept. Yoongi is not impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bulletproof Troublemakers

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [High-five Your Goodbyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144629) by [still_water](https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_water/pseuds/still_water). 



Min Yoongi stares at her lyrics despondently, yet again cursing the fact that she’d been born female.

“If you glare any harder they’re going to catch fire,” Jin drawls, running her fingers through her wave of shiny, long, perfect hair.

“I just think it’s-” Yoongi begins heatedly.

“-bullshit how the system works,” chorus Taehyung and Jin, well versed in this complaint.

“Bah, what would you know, you’re our visuals,” Yoongi growls and the other two ignore her unfair insults.  
“Just write what you want to write Unni!” Taehyung suggests. It’s easy for her- somehow V’s weirdness endears her to most fans- especially the creepy uncles. Suga gets “scary bitch” or “genderless”, “unnatural” from some fans, and “too cute” from others. None are welcome.

“Nope. Bad idea. Don’t do that…” Jin pops her ‘p’ on the first word obnoxiously.

“Ugh. I don’t want to be cute. I don’t want to be sexy. I don’t want to call other women bitches or sluts. I already write most of my raps about passion for music… I’m not allowed to address sexist double standards… Fuck…” Yoongi curses under her breath.

“Language!” chides Jin. Throwing down her pen, she gives up and exits the dorm with a murmured “I’m out”.  
Heading into the kitchen, she grabs a glass of water and then sits on the couch, deciding to nap. She’s woken by giggling, and the feeling of something light hitting her face. Growling, she opens her eyes only to see Jimin sitting on the floor and a pile of tiny balls of paper around her.

“Yah! Park Jimin!” Yoongi growls and Jimin backs up in a hurry.

“Noona…” Jimin begins, alarmed, as Jeongguk snickers from the doorway.  
“You better pick every one of those up. And you’re lucky I’m feeling too comfortable to move.” Yoongi goes to close her eyes again.

“Too lazy you mean. Motionless Min strikes again!” Hoseok laughs from the doorway, before picking up Yoongi’s feet and moving them onto his lap. Yoongi opens her eyes, questioning.

“Family meeting. Namjoon’s just gotten back from a meeting with Manager-nim.” He relays, waggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, about our next concept?” Jeongguk comes to sit down on the couch, Yoongi reluctantly sitting up so that she doesn’t take up as much space. Her face darkens at the thought of the possibilities.

“Don’t look so excited…” Jeongguk mutters to Yoongi idly.

“Cheer up noona, it won’t be that bad!” Hoseok smiles, and he’s always so cheery she can’t help but have a bit of hope.  
When Namjoon enters he won’t meet Yoongi’s eyes. Her heart sinks.

“Uh oh…” Jimin mutters.

“What’s the concept?” Taehyung asks, oblivious to the signals everyone else is picking up on. Yoongi doesn’t know whether to mutter “Not cute, not cute…” or “Not sexy… not sexy…” under her breath. 

Cute she can do- but all too well, and it undermines her credibility as a rapper. She’d fought damn hard to lose that tag underground, only to have it resume with a passion as an idol. She’s no aegyo-wielding Shin Jimin, or worse, Yoon Bora, who can’t even actually rap. But sexy? Yoongi does not do sexy. She does swag.  
  
As it turns out, she’s too late anyway.  
  
“Sexy concept,” Namjoon rushes the words out, as if the faster he says them, the easier they’ll become. Yoongi feels like she’s been punched in the stomach.

“Sexy concept?” Jeongguk stutters. Namjoon is already bright red. This is going to be a disaster.

“Aww yeah!” Jimin fist pumps, before running his hands down his abs.

“Really Jimin?” Jin sighs as he gives her a greasy wink.

Hoseok looks like he’s trying to think of something to say to comfort her, but can’t think of exactly what to say.  
  
“Oooh like Trouble Maker!” Taehyung attempts a sexy dance and looks ridiculous.

“Yes, actually. Exactly like Trouble Maker.” Namjoon mutters, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Wait… then who is with…” Hoseok begins slowly and Yoongi hadn’t even realised it would be possible for her to feel worse. She looks down at her fingers, twisting in her lap. Sexy concept. So… tight, revealing clothes… breathy bullshit raps about love…

“If they pair us in terms of dancers, it’ll be you and Jin, Jimin and Namjoon and … wait, who gets left out?” Jimin asks.

“It’ll probably be two, two and three. So Tae, Kookie and Yoongi,” Jin offers. Yoongi does not look up. A sexy, co-ed concept with the youngest boy, only just of age, and an older girl? Surely the public wouldn’t go for that… She can imagine the hate mail already…  
  
“Otherwise maybe age? Jin noona and Namjoong hyung, Yoongi noona and Hoseok hyung, and… Jimin, Taehyung and I?” Jeongguk gives Taehyung an alarmed look. Taehyung laughs, attempting to shimmy towards Jeongguk.

“Don’t be scared of this jelly!” Taehyung waggles her eyebrows and gives her chest another shake. Jeongguk has an inexplicable look on his face- a cross between alarmed, dismissive and curious. Yoongi so does not want to think about that in more detail.

“Taehyung!” Jin reprimands Taehyung, seeing Namjoon is not yet in the headspace to do so. Yoongi can’t even enjoy the ridiculousness. So far she’s been able to hide in their conservative military costumes, her hip hop hoodies and ridiculous necklaces. No longer, it seems, can she wear the ‘boy’ uniform, which she managed even when Jin was wearing skirts and Taehyung’s tops dipped down.  
  
“They thought of both of those things- they did a sort of hybrid…” Namjoon announces. Finally he looks up off of the floor, at her.

“Jin and Hoseok, Yoongi and I, Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung.” Yoongi doesn’t know how she feels about this; maybe relieved, because if there’s one person who understands her vision, it’s Namjoon. But damn this will be awkward.

  
  


…

  
  


She gets to write her own rap for this, and that would be fantastic, but she’s stumped.  
  
“Sexy…” She spits the word out as if it is a curse.

“Noona, you can do sexy!” Jimin winks at her across the breakfast table. Jeongguk chokes on his juice, clearly unaccustomed to lumping “Min Yoongi” and “Sexy” in the same category.

“I don’t want to do sexy!” Yoongi growls.

“We know!” Jin rolls her eyes, frustrated.  
  
Yoongi is running out of time.

  
  


…

  
  


She ends up in the studio with Namjoon, for what she suspects is a Jin directed intervention.

“Yoongi noona, this is an opportunity. You can put the message out there- what you’ve always wanted to say…” Namjoon looks at her earnestly. He’s always been inspiring in his work ethic and ideals, even though he can be a clumsy goofball.

“What, that the sexist stereotypes are bullshit?” Yoongi replies candidly, having ranted to the other rapper many times before. Namjoon winces. Yoongi doesn’t even bother to follow through.

“Not quite like that but… what is sexy?” Namjoon asks. Yoongi looks at him, mystified, not really following his point.  
  
“What do you find sexy?” He clarifies, then goes a dull red colour as he realises how his words could potentially be misconstrued. This is irrelevant to Yoongi, who pauses, deep in thought. She’s found plenty of men sexy, but not when they turned out to be jerks, which was sadly more common than she’d like in the entertainment industry. 

She’d wanted to strangle Shindong after his hypocritical remark about weight. She wanted… depth to her men. Not just good looks, but a good personality- someone who did something, stood up for something. Naturally, Kpop idols had to play it safe so this was fairly rare… there had been that Jonghyun phase though…

She clears her head, shrugging at Namjoon. Besides, it wasn’t like she had time to be flirting aside from light fanservice, not with Big Hit’s scheduling. He tries again, and Yoongi definitely spies Jin’s hand in this, maybe Hoseok’s too.

“What would you tell young girls out there about being sexy?” He asks seriously, and Yoongi remains silent, thoughts churning in her head.

“That you don’t have to be sexy…” is the first thing that comes to mind. But… that wouldn’t mesh with their concept.

“That girls should be confident. That everyone can be sexy.” Yoongi says slowly, and then it’s pouring out of her, unstoppable.

“That girls shouldn’t settle. They shouldn’t be pressured. They should be who they want to be, who they really are because that is sexy. That no means no, and some men are pigs. That they can do anything they want to do…” Yoongi trails off and realises Namjoon is staring at her intensely.

“Then that’s what you write…” Namjoon says simply, and leaves her to it.

…

  
  


Yoongi needed to make some concessions to get her rap through, and now she’s paying the price. She gets to wear shorts at least, and doesn’t have to bare her midriff, like Taehyung, but her top laces up over her cleavage like a corset, drawing attention to her breasts. She scowls at her reflection in the mirror.

“If I had your boobs, I wouldn’t be making that face! Wasted…” Jin tells her without sympathy, always sensitive about her smaller breasts. Jin, BTS’s princess, is wearing a tight, strapless dress which clings to her slender body with the shortest skirt Yoongi has ever seen anyone in BTS wear. Shuddering, she at least feels relieved that she didn’t have to wear that. 

The coordi-unnis had seen some level of sense in what they shoved her into. Taehyung’s dress is missing pieces, with large panels exposing mesh or bare skin. Tae doesn’t seem overly disturbed, as per usual, simply looking at Jin and asking “But how are you going to dance in that?” Jin’s lips thin, and Yoongi has a feeling Jin will need to put in a lot of overtime to avoid flashing the audience when she dances.  
  
“If I shake my boobs too much, they’re gonna fall out!” Taehyung announces rather cavalierly, not sounding terribly distressed, and the only thing stopping Yoongi from face palming is the coordi-unnis’ threats. She’s already spent half her morning in hair and makeup. 

This time the girls have lighter hair colours- Taehyung has gone blonde, Jin light honey brown and Yoongi a deep red. It’s unusual for none of the girls to have dark hair, but Yoongi figures that’s because their costumes are mostly black. She knows the boys have white suits, and they have shades of black or brown hair. Of course she’s been given heels for the comeback- but as the rapper, she’s allowed wider heels, unlike Jin, who is always sentenced to stilettos. She resents having to wear them all the same.

She stares into the mirror and barely recognises herself- dark eyes with long false lashes, shiny lips… her unnatural red hair… who is this person? No wonder the underground rappers scoff at her.

“Go time!” one of the staff shouts, and the female line exit the change rooms, Yoongi reluctantly bringing up the rear.  
  
“Woah!” Hoseok announces, and Yoongi doesn’t know whether to hate him for commenting on their appearances or love him for always wanting to bolster their confidence.

“Jin noona, don’t bend over!” Jimin snickers, and Jeongguk swats him for his impudence.

“No kidding,” Jin comments rather dryly, as she carefully steps over to the boys, Taehyung bouncing her way over and winking ridiculously at Jimin and Jeongguk. Jimin replies with a ridiculous “How you doin?” gesture. The two together are frightening.  
  
“Wow Noona, you look good!” Jimin utters with an air of faint surprise, finally noticing Yoongi and causing all eyes to flash to her.

“Park Jimin!” Hoseok chides.

“Yah! Does that mean I don’t normally?” she asks grouchily.

“Not like that!” Jungkook is taken aback, clearly not having meant to make the comment aloud.

“Keep it in your pants, Kookie!” Taehyung winks and Yoongi’s hand is in their air before she realises she is facepalming. Luckily she never makes it- Namjoon catches her hand before she can cause her own murder by coordi-unni.  
  
“Okay, we’re having smooth couple first- Jin and Hoseok, then confidence couple- Namjoon and Yoongi, then crush triangle- Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook.” The director announces.

“Confidence couple?” Yoongi asks Namjoon, watching as Jin and Hoseok pose.

“We’re the power couple. We are confident and bold, apparently. We take what we want.” Namjoon informs her, a quirk of his lips telling her without words that he feels that statement as ridiculous as she does.  
  
“Smooth couple are more delicate, glamorous and graceful- they have a ‘quiet charisma’.” He adds.  
  
Hoseok bends Jin backwards, like they are dancing. Cameras flash. Jin on the chair, Hoseok behind her, a hand on her shoulder. Jin sitting across Hoseok’s lap, a hand on his chest. Yoongi hopes she doesn’t have to sit on Namjoon’s lap, because she’d feel ridiculous.

“And crush triangle is the first love/crush feeling, except two boys falling for one girl,” he finishes.  
  
Then it's their turn, and they get a table as a prop. The first shot is side on- she and Namjoon staring intensely into each other’s eyes across the table.

“Straighten up Suga!” the director shouts, not allowing her to slump. Another shot has Namjoon sitting, bending over the table with his hands clasped on it, like a businessman sure of his place. She stands next to him, jutting her hip out unnaturally, while trying to look “Confident, not arrogant! No that’s too cold…”

She hates photoshoots.  
The final shot of the piece has Namjoon lying on the ground on his stomach, Yoongi standing over him with legs spread and a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t you look up,” Yoongi threatens quietly, forgetting she isn’t in a skirt.

“Wouldn’t dare,” She knows Namjoon is grinning from his place on the floor between her legs.

“More arrogance Namjoon! You’re on the floor, but you’re still cool!” the director shouts, somewhat ridiculously, and Yoongi is comforted just a little. She may be the girl… but she is the one standing.

They watch the “crush triangle” shoot as well, Taehyung playing oblivious while Jimin and Jeongguk glare at each other from either side of a couch. Then there is surprised Taehyung with Jeongguk’s arm around her shoulder’s and Jimin’s hand on her knee. This is deemed potentially too racy, so they take another with each of the boys putting a hand on her shoulder. The last one is Jimin and Jeongguk kneeling with one knee up, Taehyung perched on their knees with her trademark blinding grin.

By the time they call it a wrap, Yoongi is more than ready to go home.

  
  


…

  
  


“What’s it like having boobs?” Jeongguk suddenly asks in the van on the way home.

“Jeongguk!” Jin is scandelised.

“Kookie’s growing up!” Jimin crows, before being elbowed in the stomach.

“Aggravating,” Yoongi replies, looking down in apathy.

“Convenient!” Taehyung pipes up.  
  
“Well you can’t leave us hanging now…” Jimin informs them, (“Get it, get it? Hanging…” “We get it Jimin…”) and Jin looks to Namjoon who just shrugs, unwilling to put a stop to it. Yoongi isn’t sure whether he is too over everything to care or whether he is curious too.

“Having to wear bras, having to always make sure you don’t flash anyone… the weight… it’s tiresome,” Yoongi clarifies for the boys, all of whom are struggling not to look at her chest.

“But you can get stuff for free if you flash ‘em!” Taehyung offers.

“You’ve flashed people?!” Jin and Jeongguk shriek simultaneously. Even Yoongi gives her chest an assessing glance- Taehyung is the biggest in Bangtan. Well, good on her, each to their own and all that.  
  
Taehyung isn’t done. “What’s it like having a dick?”

“TAEHYUNG!” Jin shrieks, as Hoseok, Namjoon and Jeongguk pale.

“Nope. Nope. Nope.” Namjoon mutters.

“Oh, why not?” Yoongi presses out of spite.

“Nope. Nope.” Namjoon ignores her, Hoseok turning red and Jeongguk looking like he is going to pass out.

“Change of topic!” Jin announces.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but thinks sometimes even Bangtan can be sexist. She is somewhat mollified by Jimin’s whispered “Tell you later Noona.”

  
  


…

  
  


Learning the dance is a lesson in awkwardness. For all that they have to appear sexy, the reality is significantly different. The first time Namjoon accidentally touches her breast, he can’t look her in the face for an hour. 

Taehyung is actively tormenting Jeongguk, who started out unable to look at her but is now beginning to catch on and feign disinterest. Yoongi deliberately tries to avoid watching them. Hoseok needs all his dancing skills to keep Jin from exposing herself in her practice skirt.  
The choreographer takes one look and announces that he will be working one on one with each set. In the verses, Bangtan divides into the couples, showing off different styles of couple dancing, almost telling a narrative. The choruses however, are synchronized- the girls and boys doing complimentary moves but never touching. 

The choreography is a pain for Yoongi- lots of sexy female thigh burning dancing as they drop to the floor seductively, which is a literal pain, and lots of movement with her hips. Jin is a natural, surprisingly, Taehyung has to tone down her inclination to overdo each movement, and Yoongi is too stiff.  
  
“Okay girls, to the floor. Left leg out… slowly bring it in… and up… no seductively Suga… V you need to stop pouting, you look like you’ve had surgery gone wrong. Excellent Jin!”

As it turns out, this concept is right up Jin’s alley. She struggles to land her moves on time in sharp dances, struggles to put the power and the conviction behind the blows, but give her a slow, non-technical hip roll and she is right at home.  
  
“Less hips V. Less arse V. Less everything- come on V!” When Taehyung chooses to tone it down, she can do it easily. That doesn’t mean she wants to. 

“Suga, roll your hips. Smoother. Bolder. Chest out. Smoother. Not so jerky…” Yoongi resents Jimin’s natural grace as he instantly has the choreography down and is staring at himself in the mirror while she goes over it once more. They stand in a V formation, girls and boys alternating and the genders facing each other. In the chorus, they look but they don’t touch, but the verses are different.  
  
“Okay, so our theme for you is confident, powerful. The idea is that Suga is in charge and Rap Mon is letting her be. So Suga, you’re very confident, taking what you want, Rap Mon, you’re very calm and deciding to let her.” Yoongi files away the thoughts of ‘in charge’ versus ‘the illusion of being in charge’ for later analysis.

“Suga, you’re fierce sexy, like CL,” The choreographer informs her, and Yoongi has nothing against CL, but she is Min Yoongi, not Lee Chaerin. She idly notes that the choreographer doesn’t feel the need to tell Namjoon to be anyone else.  
  
“Rap Mon, you’re behind Suga. Place your hand on her hip. Let it rest there, so you’re clearly touching her.” She feels Namjoon move behind her and hesitantly place his hand on her- she can feel the warmth through her thin practice top and shivers.

“Suga, you’re ready to grab his tie and then slide down his frame, seductively. Don’t choke him though. Rap Mon, allow your hand to slide up her side to rest on her shoulder as she slides down.” The drag of his hand is a distracting thing, especially for someone who doesn’t usually have a lot of touching- Taehyung clambers all over her and Jin, but no one touches her like this. 

Even pre-debut, no way was she messing up her rep by giving some shmuck the chance to call her easy. Yoongi was once known as the ice queen of the underground for good reason. As Namjoon moves, her side feels tingly where his hand has been.  
  
“Suga, now come up like this- no, stick your butt out. Yes, more. More…” Yoongi feels like she’s an exaggerated caricature, resigned to the display.

“Surely this doesn’t look good…” Yoongi says under her breath, before realising Namjoon is humming “I like big butts” quietly in response.

“Shut up,” She hisses. Namjoon snorts quietly.

“Now spin her out!” the choreographer demonstrates for them quickly.  
  
“Suga, walk away, four steps, seductively… No, more hips. Remember your heels- walk confidently, sexy, sexy! Now look over your shoulder at Rap Mon and beckon him!”

As Namjoon gains his own barrage of instructions, Yoongi at least gets to stand there, even if she is holding a ridiculous pose thrusting her chest out and patting her hips in what they wanted to be a seductive way.

“Now Rap Mon, sit on the chair- cockily…”

  
  


…

  
  
The parts that Yoongi finds particularly awkward, in retrospect, are the parts when confident couple aren’t dancing. She has to watch Seokjin & Hoseok tango around glamorously sitting on Namjoon’s lap with her legs either side of him, facing him, with an arm hanging off of his shoulders and his palm on her back.

She’s never been this close to Namjoon- and then they have to sit there and just wait.  
  
“Suga, move closer to Rap Mon.” The choreographer directs, and she awkwardly stands up, attempting to waddle forward with her legs either side of him. The choreographer is not impressed.

“Suga, if you ever have to move on stage… don’t do that.”  
Yoongi sneers.  
  
“Anyway… closer.” The choreographer waves his hand.  
Yoongi attempts to slide forward again, having to use effort not to snag their clothes. She ends up overdoing it and is right on top of Namjoon.

“Uh… that’s too close. You could be having sex…” The choreographer shakes his head and she doesn’t think they were meant to hear that.  
Yoongi and Namjoon stare at each other, wide eyed. Namjoon’s other hand comes up from the side before sort of fluttering in the air and falling back. Yoongi shuffles back a bit until the choreographer gives his okay.  
  
“You need to practice this- You have to land this spot every time, and you have to do it gracefully. Then you’ve got to hold this pose- Suga, don’t slump!” The choreographer directs them. And then they sit there for 16 counts.

“So this is awkward…”   
Trust Namjoon to make it worse. Yoongi mentions as much.

“Oi…” Namjoon affects an injured look, and she can feel his laughter through his whole body.

“You’re slumping!” the choreographer yells and Yoongi nearly yells back.  
  
Namjoon decides to be helpful and adds some force to the hand on her spine. The surprise makes Yoongi straighten up more than she would have otherwise, resulting in her practically shoving her chest in Namjoon’s face.

“This could be worse…” Namjoon volunteers, staring, and Yoongi goes to punch him in the groin with her free hand. The downside of being so close, of course, is that Namjoon feels her movement and manages to grab her hand before she can raise it high enough. He holds it effortlessly, and Yoongi scowls, wondering for half a second if she should have put more time in at the gym.

“Okay, now your pose for crush triangle is similar…”  
  
Yoongi groans.  
  
  
…  
  
  
This time she is seated with her back to Namjoon’s chest, legs still spread.

“Isn't this a bit much?” Yoongi asks incredulously, considering she is giving the audience a pretty frontal view of her crotch.

“We’ll keep it for now and review it later. We might have to turn you side on for performances…” The choreographer considers.

“Now you two should be close enough that Suga can lean her head back on your shoulder Namjoon, and you’ll have a hand around her waist.” The choreographer instructs, and Yoongi sighs, moving back with an ungraceful thump.  
  
“Hey careful!” Namjoon pokes her side.

“Sorry,” she grumps as his arm snakes around her waist. She tilts her head back- quite an uncomfortable pose. She can feel Namjoon and realises this is going to be decidedly less pleasant after a full day of dance practice. They’d practically be bathing in each other’s sweat.

“Try to look comfortable and natural. You both look constipated…” The choreographer sighs in exasperation.

“Your homework is to practice this until it becomes natural! In the dorms, you sit on each other. One chair for you two from now on. I’ll tell your manager.”  
  
  
…  
  
  
Trust this concept to ruin even their private time. Manager-nim is indeed informed and actually scolds Yoongi for sitting on a chair of her own.  
Jeongguk snickers helplessly as Yoongi, incredulous, has to get up and sit on Namjoon’s lap to eat her damn rice.  
  
“I can see why they made you practice Noona. You’re both so awkward…” Jeongguk can barely get the words out he’s laughing so much.

“Shut it dongsaeng,” Yoongi threatens.

“Oooh are we sitting in people’s laps?” Taehyung enters and makes a beeline for Jeongguk, sitting on him as he begins choking.

“What- get off Tae!”  
  
“Who’s awkward now?” taunts Yoongi, before Jimin, attracted by all the shouting, sizes up the situation and plonks himself on top of Taehyung.

“Ooof… get off!” Jeongguk groans.

“You love it kookie!” Taehyung wriggles her hips a bit.

“Not… sexy… at… all…” Jeongguk forces out. Jimin is giggling.  
  
The commotion, of course drags Seokjin in, who takes one look, says “Nope” and walks back out again, and Hoseok, who is looking at Yoongi and Namjoon- uh oh.

When Hoseok decides to jump on top of Yoongi, she worries that not only is she being crushed, but Namjoon is probably dying also. Off balance, she teeters a little bit to the side, worrying they’ll fall, but Namjoon helps straighten her up as she clutches Hoseok.

“Urk!” Namjoon wheezes out, spasming a little, before regaining his breath. She can feel Hoseok’s laughter as well as Namjoon’s labored breathing.  
  
“Come on Seokjin noona, stacks on!” Jimin yells.

Jin returns clutching a-

“No!” Yoongi and Jeongguk yelp simultaneously.

“What?!” Namjoon worries, unable to see past his lap full of people.

Click.  
  
“Did Seokjin just take a photo?” Namjoon asks in resignation. Yoongi nods.

“Ha! Let’s upload it!” Jimin crows.

“Don’t you dare-” Jeongguk warns.  
  
“That’s don’t you dare Hyung to you!” Jimin reminds him, and Jeongguk finally gains the strength to topple Jimin and Taehyung off sideways, Jimin managing to catch himself and Tae hitting the floor, before retreating to a safe distance, pink cheeked. At that, Hoseok dismounts, reaching a chivalrous hand to Yoongi to pull her up.

“Breakfasts in Bangtan!” Taehyung announces happily from her position on the floor.

“My life,” mutters Jeongguk. Yoongi agrees.

  
  
...  
  


Yoongi soon becomes a lot more comfortable than she’d ever thought with Namjoon. Bangtan has always been touchy feely, but never beyond the bounds of propriety for genders. Now they are expected to be comfortable and natural with it, and it sends them all into a bit of a spin.  
Yoongi is sitting on Namjoon’s lap, (surprise… where else would she be?) wanting a break.

“Don’t slump Suga, you’re on stage,” yells the choreographer, who is fast making his way onto her shitlist. Namjoon pokes her discreetly, and she sits up. It’s hot, sweat is running down her neck in rivulets and she can feel Namjoon still breathing heavily behind her.  
  
“I never thought my first time getting hot and sweaty with a girl would be like this,” Namjoon jokes quietly. Yoongi snickers, unable to help herself.

“It’s probably the best you’ll get,” She teases.

“What’s that?” Namjoon makes as if to open his legs and drop her through, and she shrieks automatically.

“What is going on?” The choreographer glares at them, intimidating them back into silence and stillness.  
At the end of the practice, she collapses in a heap on the floor as Namjoon walks the choreographer out. Jimin continues practising his part, presumably so he can keep lifting his shirt up and showing off his muscles. Jin is pulling on a pair of shorts under her tiny skirt and Taehyung, who somehow gained energy from somewhere, turns upside down and is trying (and failing) to twerk.

“Really Tae?” Jeongguk asks, collapsing near them.

“Check this booty!” Taehyung howls, before overbalancing and dropping to the floor. She crawls over to them too. When Namjoon returns, the six of them are lying on the ground, being disgusting together. Their leader decides, in his wisdom, to join the pile by lying all over them.

“Noo!”

“Get your arse out of my face!”

“Guess where your hand is…”  
The last comment by Tae makes Namjoon roll quickly to the side, accidentally kicking Hoseok in the head on the way.

“Ow!”

“Sorry Hobi!” Taehyung apologises on Namjoon’s behalf, without a shred of regret. Hoseok sticks out his tongue.

“Are we in second grade here?” Yoongi asks, before facepalming, as everyone starts singing the chorus to their song.  
  
“Should have seen that coming…” Yoongi mutters, as Jin drags herself up. Bangtan, Jimin and Taehyung in particular, can be terribly obnoxious about referencing their song titles.

“Let’s go and shower. Also… girls night tonight!” Jin decides on the spot.

“Yes! Shower! Let’s shower together, I don’t want to wait!” Taehyung leaps up, before grabbing Yoongi. It’s not new, the girls being in and out of the bathroom- they’ve roomed together for so long it would have been impossible not to see each other naked. Yoongi knew the boys did it too. 

But there is an abrupt choking noise from somewhere in the room and when the girls look back all of the boys seem a little too wide eyed and look away.

Taehyung, being Taehyung, notices… “…and then let’s have a pillow fight!” she continues mercilessly, and Jin ends up dragging her away, Yoongi following behind.

  
  


…

  
  


After the shower, they’re sitting around in robes with facemasks on in one of their rare female bonding moments. (It wasn’t often that Yoongi felt the need to participate in these nights.)

“Do you think this is a mistake?” Seokjin asks them softly. Yoongi doesn’t ask what.

“Getting the boys to see us as women?” Tae clarifies, somewhat serious for once.

“And getting us to see them as men,” Seokjin sighs.

(“Speak for yourself”, Yoongi wants to say, but can’t.)  
  
“I hope not,” Yoongi says dourly.

“Hobi-oppa, eh?” Tae looks to Jin who colours.

“It’s not like that! It’s just… you spend so much time with them, so close to them… so often, acting sexy… ” She protests, then turns to Yoongi.

“What about Namjoon? You spend 24/7 plastered to his lap now,” Jin comments, a little too astutely.

“It’s weird,” Yoongi offers that statement, not really planning to add more detail.  
  
“Does he ever get a hard on?”

“TAE!” Yoongi and Jin shriek. In the back of her mind Yoongi pictures the boys hearing the shrieking and wondering what on earth is going on in their room.

“What? Just saying… does he?” Taehyung may look innocent at times, but she very rarely is.

“No!” Yoongi yelps, flustered. She bets she is bright red.

“What about you? Two boys at once?” Jin turns the attention neatly back on Taehyung out of self preservation.

“I wish! Damn!” Taehyung laughs and Jin shrieks once more, Yoongi getting an unpleasant mental image of a TaeMinKookie visual and wanting to throw up a little in her mouth. Tae is absolutely shameless.

“Why…” Yoongi moans.  
  
“Did you just picture it?” Taehyung winks at her.

“Why would you picture it?” Jin asks, bewildered.

“No choice! My mind just does it!” Yoongi makes a face.

“Picture… Jimin stripping off his shirt…” Taehyung begins mischievously.

“No, no no!” Yoongi protested, and Jin steps in to save her sanity.  
  
“Topic change!” Jin insists and Yoongi could kiss her.

“How is dancing in your dress?” Yoongi tries.

“Ugh! It’s horrible. I mean, it looks hot, but I can’t eat before I dance in it because it’s so tight. And if I even breathe I risk flashing Hobi…” Jin scowls.  
  
“And the audience of like, thousands of fans…” Taehyung adds, and Jin scowls harder. It’s an unusual look for Jin, who tends to be bubbly and caring.

“Probably not helping, Tae,” Yoongi comments, and Tae, being Tae, giggles before announcing it’s time to remove the masks. 

Yoongi finds it difficult to recognize her face now, without her trademark eyeliner. For all that she doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, the eyeliner is a symbol of Suga the rapper. Yoongi can’t work out if she likes her face more without makeup, then curses herself for buying into the “pretty image” debate. It’s an odd internal dichotomy she often finds herself in.  
  
“Why is your skin so nice unni?” Taehyung asks Yoongi. It’s a weird little ritual they do sometimes, and she's given up analysing it or judging herself for it.

“Why are you so pretty and slender, unni?” Yoongi asks Jin.

“Why do you have such giant boobs, Tae?” Jin asks Taehyung. 

They all sigh in unison, and this is one of the times when Yoongi feels so close to the female line she doesn’t care about buying into the pre-packaged image.  
  
“Massages?”

“Definitely massages.”

  
  


…

  
  


Yoongi knows she shouldn’t look. But the first round concept photos have been released, including one of the whole band, and she’s curious, and the girls are out and even knowing this won’t go well, she goes online.

“Idol rapper gets her boobs out! No new story here.”

“What a slut! Look at her all over rap-mon-oppa.”  
  
“Who would have thought… Suga actually has tits…”

“Bitches better not go 4 oppas!”

“I’d do her!”  
  
“What a sell out… man I remember when she actually stood for something…”

“Duzn’t she no da guy is sposed 2 b above da girl?!”  
  
“She’s probably banging all the boys…”

“Come to the anti-café- NO SUGA IN BTS!”  
  
Yoongi realises her hands are clenched into a fist and thinks it was inevitable. Yoongi and Hoseok have always had the most antis, Hoseok for not being ‘as attractive’ as the others, (and what does that even mean? Yoongi thinks he’s fine), and Yoongi for having the nerve to be female, to be a rapper, to be an idol, to be in a coed group… to have an opinion…  
  
She sits, looking as the comments pile up and she tries to wrap her head around the fact that she has an anti-café. She knows she has fan cafes, and she loves them dearly- they fuel her, keep her going. But an anti-café is a certain level of hate she’s just not prepared for. Idol life can be vicious, but…  
  
Jin and Tae, she notes with a detached interest, are also getting shade for being in the co-ed sexy concept, but fans seem more willing to find “signs that they’re just friends” for Jin, and “Maknae line has always been close”. She realises with a groan that they haven’t even seen the dance yet, and notices her hands are shaking.

It’s not a question of how the fans will react- she knows how they will react.

It’s more a question of how much hate can she take?  
And if everyone hates her so much… would Big Hit drop her from BTS because of their own promotional backlash? She’d like to believe otherwise, but Big Hit is in it for the money, and BTS is on the rise. She bites her lip and wishes she’d never clicked onto the site.

The “Only 13” SuJu campaign flashes in her memory and she feels sick. Yoongi goes to bed, doesn’t eat, tries to dream away her problems. Her sleep is restless and filled with bad dreams.

  
  


…

  
  


“Hey, are you okay?” Jin asks, as Yoongi’s struggling to pull her shirt on.

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asks, forcefully shoving her arm through. Lack of sleep does terrible things to her.

“Hey! Be careful- you’ll break it! You’re always so rough Yoongi!” Jin says, and even though she doesn’t mean it, Yoongi’s heart sinks. She is the one who doesn’t belong. NO. She won’t think like that. It’s easier said than done.  
  
“You seem off,” Jin peers at her in concern.

“I’m fine,” Yoongi says, and then gets the hell out of dodge. She grabs some breakfast and sits, staring at nothing, shovelling the food in without really noticing it and ignoring Jimin who is also at the table.

“Morning!” Hoseok says sunnily, because he doesn’t have an anti-café, and he doesn’t have to worry about being called an oppa-stealing-slut, and he won’t be dropped from BTS.

Yoongi realises with alarm that her eyes are watering, and quickly ducks her head down, before abruptly ducking in to the toilet, ignoring Hoseok and Jimin’s confusion.

Then she sits in the toilet with the door locked, trying desperately to stem the tide of her over-shiny eyes and trying to pull it together.

She feels like she’s teetering over a chasm, and she can already picture the rest of BTS’ faces as she falls.  
  
  
…  
  
  
Practice is an exercise in torture.

“You look weird today Noona,” Jimin says, confused.

“Yah Park Jimin, don’t be rude,” she barks at him.  
  
“Didn’t you get enough sleep?” Taehyung asks sympathetically, and Yoongi just shrugs, not knowing what to say.

She’s twitchy when she’s near Namjoon, who is confused at the setback in progress.

“You’re not close enough Noona,” Namjoon mutters, when she moves away from him. ‘No’, she wants to disagree, thinking of the fans, ‘I’m way too close.’

She knows her jumpiness unsettles him in turn and makes him feel uncomfortable having to touch her when she so clearly is unhappy, and feels even worse. Namjoon gives her a reprieve by suggesting they work on the chorus as a group.  
  
She’s off on her counts- she messes up their chorus again and again, and starts wondering whether maybe BTS would be better without her. No! She’s not going to buy into that bullshit thinking. No. But the thoughts slide around in her head, crashing into each other, and she’s a split second later than Seokjin and Tae when she drops to the floor and she makes the choreo messy.  
  
“Noona, I know you don’t like this concept…” Namjoon begins carefully and Yoongi feels like she has a stomach full of ice shards.

“I’ll practise more,” she snaps, overwrought, and Namjoon actually takes a step back and puts his hands up.

“Lunch break,” Jin suggests, ever the peacekeeper, and they all file out, except for Hoseok who dawdles around near his things. Yoongi looks to him, dourly, questioning, hoping to have some private time. But she forgets he’s called J-Hope for a reason.

“I was wondering if you wanted a hand with the choreo?” Hoseok asks kindly, and Yoongi just-  
  
Yoongi bursts into tears.

  


“What? Noona?” Hoseok panics, because they’ve never seen Yoongi cry. She never cries in public, and while Jin and Tae have seen her down, no one in BTS has ever seen her sobbing nearly hysterically like she is now.

“What’s wrong?” Hoseok rushes over to her, then unsure if she wants contact, hovers around her awkwardly, hands fluttering.

Yoongi can’t even speak, and now she’s humiliated on top of everything.  
  
“Do you… do you want a hug?” Hoseok asks, and Yoongi just gives in and nods. In the next minute, his arms are around her and he’s warm and comforting and smells like Hobi and Yoongi slobbers all over his shirt.

“What… do you want to talk about it?” Hoseok asks, and Yoongi babbles “I have an anti-café.” Hoseok stills, and out of everyone, she thinks he will understand, he who gets so much unfair hate.

“Oh noona,” Hoseok sighs, resuming patting her on the back.

“Noona that’s bullshit and you know it,” Hoseok sounds distinctly angry, rare for the boy with the sunny disposition.  
  
“What if it was you? How would you feel?” Yoongi bites out, her sobs subsiding a little.

“I’d be the same, noona,” Hoseok admits, and she respects him for it.

When she’s calmed down a little, she draws back and looks at him.

“They haven’t even seen the dance Hobi. They’re calling me a slut already, what will they say when they see me all over Namjoon?” She asks despairingly, and sees a glint of understanding in Hoseok’s eyes, in the way his face tightens. He does not give her crap about everything being fine, and it simultaneously makes her feel better and worse.

“When they hate me… they’ll petition to have me kicked out,” she forces herself to continue, and Hoseok interrupts “We won’t let them, noona.”  
  
“Super Junior… only 13,” she reminds him, thinking about Henry and Xhou Mi, and their apparent crime of being Chinese and taking ‘Oppa’s stage time’.

“No fucking way. We won’t let them noona, I promise,” Hoseok promises fiercely, and Yoongi just hugs him, unable to believe it.

They sit there for another few minutes, before Yoongi feels able to pull herself together. When she does, she’s embarrassed.

“Don’t tell anyone,” she asks Hoseok, who she can tell is torn.

“Please, Hoseok, don’t tell anyone,” she begs, and isn’t this just a day of firsts for her. Hoseok gives in gracefully, agreeing despite his clear worry, and she goes to wash her face.  
  
When the others walk back in, she’s practicing with Hoseok, and though for a moment she thinks V might ask why her eyes are red, Jin quickly interjects, not allowing her to get a word in, and Yoongi feels grateful.  
  
She lands every move that afternoon, but she knew that if the choreographer were watching, she’d still be in trouble. There’s no passion.

  
  


…

  
  


That night, as she’s mechanically going through her evening routine, she takes comfort in Hobi’s support, in not having to carry the weight on her own. Jin, she notices, is going out of her way to quietly help out, grabbing her a drink without saying anything. Taehyung is babbling on, a steady stream of noise that she can listen to without having to respond to.  
And when the lights go out, Jin and Taehyung quietly slip into bed with her, hugging her either side. Maybe Yoongi sheds some more tears, out of gratefulness, and wonder, that she is in this group with these amazing people, but if so, no one can tell in the dark anyway.

  
  


…

  
  


Namjoon finds her at breakfast and suggests they head to the studio. Since they’ve recorded the album already, Yoongi knows the time has come for him to ask as leader what is going on with her. 

The ride there is silent, Yoongi still embarrassed over her weakness yesterday. Quite honestly, she does not want to have this conversation. Her strategy is to put it to the side and try and ignore it.  
She forgets how awesome Namjoon can be.  
  
“Noona, come at me!” he challenges, the minute the mics are on, before launching into a fast impromptu rap about how he’s the best and everybody else got “no jams”. Yoongi has to crack a smile, and from there, she’s lost.

She spits back a quick line or four- telling him he should go back to wearing his ridiculous glasses, he’s so green he’s probably in grade school…

It feels good to have this friendly banter, to brag nonsense about all the swag they have together, and she can’t help her snort when he finishes on a grinning “Okay Noona, you definitely got jams.”  
She can’t help the sappy smile she gets when she thinks of the 6 other pabos that make up BTS. They play around for a while, talking about ideas for songs.

“What concept would you go for, if you could choose?” Namjoon asks curiously. Yoongi doesn’t have to think about it.

“Smash the system,” Yoongi replies, imaging.

“Oh?” Namjoon allows her to spin out the threads of her idea.

“Reverse gender roles. Reverse race- like, I’d have to do some more research on that because I think it tends to be not so much of an issue here- in America tho…” Yoongi muses some more.

“Reverse prettiness. Reverse power- age, politics, job titles- ha, imagine if kids were in charge of Korea.” She muses.  
  
“‘Everybody hates me’ MV is coming to mind,” Namjoon grins, obviously picturing kids running rampant.

“Reverse popular trends…” and those, she thinks, could bring up endless examples, amusement, controversy.

“I like it noona, you should write it. It could be an iconic MV.” He says, head cocked to eye her, considering.

“It’d never get played,” Yoongi says flatly, coming down from her high.

“Depends how you write it. Depends how we can sell it to Big Hit.” Namjoon tries.

“As a BTS song?” Yoongi clarifies.

“As BTS or solo. Whatever you want…” Namjoon shrugs, leaving it up to her. She’s floored, and unsurprised, by the implicit support he offers.  
They sit there for a while, silent, and then Yoongi can’t help herself.  
  
“I have an anti café.” She tells him. Namjoon takes it in, silently, watching her with a measured expression. He is not surprised. She wonders whether manager-nim prepared him for it as part of his leader training. He stays silent, not judging, just understanding, and without prompting, she continues.

“When the MV and dance comes out… those numbers are going to skyrocket.” She states the obvious, and sees Namjoon analysing this, clearly reflecting on the last few days. It’s one of the times he seems so much older, so much more mature than his age.

“They’ll petition to kick me out of BTS. Maybe Jin and Tae too,” Yoongi states, and realises she doesn’t know how the other girls are feeling about this. She resolves to talk to them about it after.  
  
“They’ll get nowhere.” Namjoon says simply, and Yoongi feels frustrated for the first time.

“It’s not that easy-” she starts, eyes flashing her feelings.

“It is. We are a 7 member group. That will not change.” Namjoon says implacably, and she opens her mouth to argue again.

“I will not let it change,” he looks directly at her, and she still disagrees that it’s not that easy, but everything about his body language states it’s an indisputable truth. It makes Yoongi feel confused and unsettled.  
  
“What if you can’t stop it?” Yoongi says quietly, looking down.

“Bang PD isn't like that... But if Big Hit try to break us up… I will resign.” Namjoon states with conviction, and shocked, Yoongi whips her head up to look at him. He looks dead serious- not a trace of uncertainty.

“You can’t-” she stammers, utterly shocked. BTS is Namjoon’s dream.

“I can. BTS is a 7 member group, consisting of Jin, Suga, Rap Monster, J-Hope, Jimin, Taehyun and Jungkook.” Namjoon insists. Yoongi feels dizzy. Yoongi actually feels dizzy.  
  
“Noona are you alright?” Namjoon looks concerned now, reaching out to steady her, when she’s the one who should be concerned.

“Don’t throw away your future,” Yoongi says weakly.

“What future, if BTS isn’t BTS? You of all people know, you gotta stay true to yourself,” he shrugs, his shoulders broader than she remembers and she thinks that maybe he grew up and she never noticed.

Yoongi’s still trying to wrap her head around this when he changes the topic.  
  
“Anyway… I also wanted to ask you a favour,” he mentions and Yoongi is curious. After his last statement, she also would kind of do anything for him right now.

“My little sister… she kind of idolizes you, you know? Wants to be a rapper herself when she grows up, though at this stage that could change at any minute. Can you give her some advice? She’s going through a tough time at the moment…”

  
  


…

  
  


In hindsight, while everything adds up, the phone call to Namjoon’s sister is the tipping point. Yoongi finds herself giving the girl the advice to “ignore everyone” and “stay true to yourself”. 

When she hears how others have been discouraging the poor girl, it fires up her temper and the girl giggles as Yoongi begins to rant, before making the girl promise to send her a tape. Yoongi thinks she could have potential, and hopes to see her work in the future. The fact that she’s Namjoon’s kid sister also adds points; Namjoon has a way with words and a dedication that Yoongi has always respected. 

She finishes up the call by basically politely telling her to say “Fuck off” to anyone who tries to hold her back. It’s good advice, and she 100% means it…  
  
And of course, she realises that she’s being a hypocrite about her own haters. It’s time, she thinks, to talk to Seokjin and Taehyung.  
  
“Yoongi-dongsaeng,” Seokjin coos.

“Yes unni?” Yoongi waits for the request. She walks to the dresser, then pauses, then reverses and heads towards the bed.

“Can you get me a drink?” Seokjin tries for a winning face. Because she wants to talk to her, Yoongi just sticks out her tongue and goes to get the drink for her.

Then, laying back on her bed, she ponders what to say.  
  
“Did you want to talk about our comeback? Our MV drops tonight,” Yoongi swears Seokjin is a mindreader.

“How do you even…” Yoongi grumbles.

“You’re obvious unni!” Taehyung sticks her head up and Yoongi hadn’t even realised she was there.  
  
“Are you nervous about antis?” Yoongi asks straight out.

“How can I not be?” Seokjin sighs.

“What about me, I get Jiminie and Jeonggukkie. I’ll need to watch for snipers,” Taehyung admits.

Suddenly Yoongi feels silly for thinking she was alone in this.

“I am the “princess” of BTS. We’re finally doing a more girly concept and… I mean, I just don’t measure up to other girl groups. I’m not a great singer, I’m not a great dancer…” Seokjin confesses.

“Unni, you’re great,” Yoongi butts in, feeling bad for Seokjin, “as long as you’re not rapping.”  
They all laugh.  
  
“Are you worried?” Seokjin asks, and Yoongi feels like it’s a moot point to ask her, really, because they know she is.

“I have an anti-café already.” Yoongi states, and each time it gets a little easier.

“We’re all going to have anti-cafes,” Tae says bluntly, and now Yoongi’s looking for it, she can see the tension that Taehyung has probably been redirecting into annoying Jeongguk.

“Maybe we should look at it as a sign of popularity? Better to have antis than nothing?” Jin asks doubtfully.  
  
“We’ll stick together,” Taehyung offers, and it reminds her of Namjoon’s promise.

“BTS together forever?” Yoongi makes an aegyo face. She looks disgustingly sweet.

“BTS bitches forever!” Tae decides. 

“Ghen chan ueul gguh yah! It’s going to be okay!” Jin gives a determinedly cute response, punching the air.

‘I love you all,’ Yoongi wants to say, but says it with her eyes instead. She thinks they get the point.  
  
“So… talk over. Drink time?” Taehyung laughs, and they throw cushions at her.

  
  


…

  
  


They do end up drinking to celebrate their MV, and Yoongi still hasn’t gone online, beyond posting a selca with the girl line “Bantan Sonyeodan!” Under Hoseok’s watchful eyes, she uploads then exits the screen. She’ll have time to read later, if she wants. She doesn’t think that she wants to.  
  
“Drinks! Where’s the orange juice for Kookie?” Jimin sings.

“Hey! I’m of age now!” Jeongguk protests.

“Jiminie be nice!” she chides, but even she’s smiling. Everyone used to laugh at the maknae drinking juice while the rest of BTS had champagne for launches.

“What was that line the international fans used to hashtag? ‘Go to bed Jungkook’?” Hoseok laughs, and everyone else follows, to Jeongguk’s intense indignation. Jimin’s face says he’s totally keeping that one in mind for later.  
  
“Kon-bay!” they shout, before drinking their cheap soju. Jin makes a face at the taste and Namjoon teases her about it. Yoongi lets herself relax as she sees Tae and Hobi attempting a “Booty off” (and really, did she need to see a repeat of the iconic ‘War of Hormones’ move on steroids?) and vaguely wonders where Jimin is, because if there’s someone showing their body off, it’s normally Park Jimin. She blinks and realises it’s because Jimin’s beside her, watching them and smirking at their antics. He notices her gaze.

“Are you feeling better noona?” He asks, and Yoongi is getting all the feels right now, because she does not deserve this amazing team.

“I am, Jiminie,” she smiles, and relaxes back against the couch. Jimin rests his head on her shoulder, and soon, driven by the lure of hilarity, Jeongguk joins them, watching the idiocy and resting his head on her other shoulder.  
  
Click. Seokjin takes a photo before Yoongi can even muster up the energy to move, and then they’re distracted anyway as Namjoon joins the TaeHobi arse-insanity, accidentally knocking the TV remote off of the table in the process. Jin just sighs and picks it up, feeling lucky he didn’t break it.  
  
“C’mon Motionless Min, show me some Suga!” Tae crows, beckoning them up, and then even Jeongguk lets himself be pulled over to dance as they all stick their butts out (and everyone gangs up to slap Namjoon’s). 

Then they attempt their own choreography- the girls do the boys’ parts with exaggerated macho (“Noona, you look like you normally do when you’re rapping!” “Taetae, you’re ridiculous”) and the boys do the girls’ parts.

“Park Jiminie, why is it you look better than I do doing my own damn dance move?” Yoongi grumbles, and Jimin makes a cute face at her so she can’t be too mad.  
  
“Namjoon, never do that again. I’ll have nightmares,” Jin comments with a giggle.

“No more drinks!” Namjoon cuts them off early.

“No more dreams!” Hoseok gives them the peace sign.

“We need to stop doing that with our song titles,” Jeongguk says, somewhat embarrassed.  
  
"Everybody say NO!" Tae can't help herself.   
“Come on, bed time. We need to be ready for our stage tomorrow!” Namjoon reminds them, which changes the energy slightly.

“Let’s sleep together!” Taehyung suggests excitedly.

“Tae!” Jeongguk eeps, and everyone looks at her.

“I mean let’s make a blanket fort and sleep together!” Taehyung clarifies, muttering about ‘dirty minds’. Yoongi is normally the one who shoots down these immature ideas, but this time…

“I’ll get my pillow,” Yoongi refuses to look anyone in the face as she goes to their dorm.

“Yeah!” Taehyung cheers.

“Sleepover!” Jimin shouts, running for his and Jeongguk’s room.

“Only if no one kicks me this time!” Hoseok warns, and Jin looks to Namjoon, who thinks carefully for a minute and then gives in.

“Okay. But I don’t want to be on the outside! I get cold!”

Yoongi wakes up at 3am with someone’s elbow in her stomach, choking on Taehyung’s hair. She can hear Namjoon snoring and realises she’s drooled all over her pillow. She regrets nothing.

  
  


…

  
  


The stage for their first comeback is terrifying; she can hear the fans already from backstage. She adjusts and readjusts her shorts and top until the coordi-unnis tell her not to touch it, and wants to drink endless water but worries she’ll need to go to the toilet.  
  
“Hwaiting, Noona!” Jimin fist bumps with her and she smiles, looking around the room. 

Taehyung is repeatedly poking Jeongguk who is trying desperately to ignore her but is about to explode. The manager signals that it’s time to go, and Hoseok squeezes her hand quickly as they leave the room to head under the stage. 

Jin makes an aegyo face when she sees Yoongi looking and from his position, Namjoon nods at her.

The manager starts frantically signaling, and Yoongi thinks of the audience- the fans, the antis… and she thinks of Namjoon’s younger sister.  
‘Fuck the haters,’ Yoongi thinks, dialing up her swag as the platform rises, the lights blinding her, ‘I’m bulletproof.’

And she kills it.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:  
> So this one totally got away from me… I wanted it to be a short one shot and… that didn’t happen. Also, shit got serious!  
> A few things:  
> \- I’m a novice at Korean culture, though super enthusiastic about it! Correct me if I have made mistakes here!  
> \- I know a bit about BTS but I’m no expert.  
> \- Clearly my character-Yoongi is different from what we know of Suga. (As fans, we don’t know the real Yoongi anyway, but mine naturally differs further still.) So I have Yoongi facing the challenges of being a female rapper- of wanting to be a legitimate female rapper, in an idol band. Thus feminist Yoongi seemed to be a natural follow on from that. And as for most hated in BTS, (poor J-Hope, no one deserves that bullshit), I thought if this really was true, surely Yoongi would get the proverbial bullet as a female among fans’ beloved oppas, and as a woman taking on a stereotypically male role. So I thought that a female Suga would feel the need to be tougher and prove herself more, and not be as cute. (But everyone breaks down sometimes.)  
> \- Also I tried to think of the character’s likely reactions to other idols, hence the musing on CL, AOA’s Jimin, Bora and Shindong. (I do agree with character-Yoongi’s ideas about Shindong though. What a hypocrite.) And for the record, I think ‘Only 13’ is BS. I ran a fine line with the reverse race in her “smash the system” concept- Korea seems to struggle with race a bit, so I wanted to give her a bit of an idea without really understanding- just enough to understand that she didn’t understand! 
> 
> This fic is in honour of BTS coming to Australia! (Trying to get tickets was brutal though… ) 3rd time round at a BTS concert- Jingyoke!  
> Would love to hear your feedback. And also see some more coed Kpop fics. (still_water, looking at you for a sequel/series!)  
> xx Nara


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